Free haircut

JCPenny was offering free back-to-school haircuts so I signed Adam up.  It was today at 11:30.  He always says he hates haircuts and that cutting his hair hurts. He usually ends up being just fine for the cut.  I explained that JCP had better tools and that he'd be fine.  He sat in the waiting area watching Madagascar but eventually sat under a chair to hide.  The hairdresser finally came out and I had to pull him out from under the chair and we talked about how we just shave him so it's quick and easy.  We get to the chair and Adam starts wiggling around and every time she tries to put the cool monster cape thing on him, he bats it away.  I have to restrain his arms to get the cape on and continue holding them and tell him to be a statue to get the haircut started.  I tried to distract him with a game that wouldn't load in time on my phone.  He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and starts SCREAMING!!  He hops out of the chair but she still needs to even up the sides and back.  I am trying to restrain him in the chair and have to keep putting my hand over his mouth because he keeps SCREAMING.  Oh. My. GOSH!  Then he's complaining because it's itchy but he won't stay still or quiet enough to wipe all the hair off.  I pick him up and he SCREAMS all the way out because he HATES his hair!  Everyone is staring!  I want to give the poor girl that cut his hair some money but Adam throws off his shoes and goes running through JCP! And he's screaming about hating his hair and haircuts.  I get his shoes back on, carry him back to the salon and wait behind some old lady who's picking through her change purse...screw it...throw some money to the lady behind the counter and tell her to please give it to the lady who cut his hair for her patience.  Adam walks out of the mall quietly under the assumption that he's going to get to play the game I downloaded when we get back to the car.  Ummm...nope!  Bad boys don't get fun things.  So I get to spend the car ride home with him screaming at me to give him my phone.  I keep saying no.  He said he's going to kick me in the head 160 times!  WTF?  We get home and he runs upstairs to where Dave is still in bed and locks the door, screaming that he doesn't want to spend the day in his room. I unlock it and explain to Dave what happened.  He tries to talk to Adam and Adam is just being crazy.  Adam says some very unpleasant things that I don't wish to repeat here.  He gets a Daddy spanking and sent to his room.  All over a damn free haircut.  Guess we'll stick to Cookie Cutters....